Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
