Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
