Just cropdusted the office
if only i could text you this smell
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
