dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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