She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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