Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
