Ambien. No doubt about it.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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