u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
