you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
