:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
