Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
