I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
