How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
