Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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