Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
