So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
