If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
