Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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