Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
