It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
