i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
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