I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
