Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
kristin has been a bad kristin
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I need moral support for this bender
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
