Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
