All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
