whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
