So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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