You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Can I color on your dick again?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
