I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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