I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
