Need sex. Gaining weight.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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