OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize