Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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