New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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