problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
