apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
