You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
