Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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