I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
