Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
