How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
