I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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