i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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