i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize