Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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