im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
