I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
