I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
