Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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