There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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