my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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