I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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