is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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