well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
