Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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