He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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