this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
