it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
