i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
