We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
