The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
