She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
