Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
i need some magic done to my vagina
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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