why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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