I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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