its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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