she smelled like a LAN party
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
