So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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