If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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