thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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