I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
