I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
