she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize