I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
