DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's blow job season.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize