If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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